"Lovers' Day is coming soon. Do you think of what gift to give to your girlfriend?"
"Oh! Don't mention it. Last time she gave a scarf, she said she had a lot of clothes, and she really felt that giving gifts was very troublesome."
以上對話是不是很耳熟呢？
每當到了節慶或是特殊紀念日時，總會煩惱要送什麼禮物？ Will the other party like it if you give it away? How expensive should I give?除了思考禮物本身之外，還要考慮到跟這個朋友的關係，真的好麻煩呀！
研究顯示：送價值昂貴的物質性禮物，還不如給一個體驗式禮物，特別是「一起」的體驗！
「物質性禮物」就是一件漂亮的衣服、名牌包、首飾⋯⋯之類的。 「體驗式禮物」指的是能獲得某種體驗，比方說看一場電影、演唱會，或是他人分享給你的經驗，有時候會是與以前相同的經驗。 For example, when you receive a gift — — a book full of photos of you and the gift presenter, you are deeply moved and filled with joy when you flip through the book; this happiness may be something you have experienced, from the beautiful memories of your trip.
Experience: The impact of gifts of different natures on the recipientsWe often have parties and targets that need to be given gifts—— family, friends or colleagues. Giving gifts is an important opportunity to strengthen the relationship between two people. Whether the gifts are delivered well will affect the bad relationship, so understanding what gifts are not only effective but also important.
Cindy Chan, a university in Toronto, Canada, conducted a study and surveyed 219 gift-giving options and found that 78% of people would choose material gifts, which was the same as our original experience. But is this the best choice?
在第一個實驗中，給予 224 位參與者每人 10 美元及三天的時間，去思考要買什麼以及如何將禮物贈送去。
禮物一共分三種：
第一種是跟送禮者一起體驗的禮物，像是兩人一起去看場電影、一起吃下午茶之類的。
The second type is a gift that the recipient has experienced individually, such as a movie ticket.
第三種則是物質性禮物，可以是一個可愛的布偶、好看的馬克杯這些。
之後請收禮者描述這些禮物對他們有什麼影響，以及他們有多喜歡。 As a result, it was found that although the recipients expressed their preference for these gifts, if they received the experience gift, whether they had experienced it with the gift, they would feel that their sense of proximity with the giftee had improved, but there was no physical gift, and some were even slightly reduced.
但有沒有可能跟禮物的價值有關係呢？ Researchers wanted to know whether the value of the item would affect this result, so they changed $10 to $15. Finally, they found that experiential gifts are equally better for the closeness of the gift, which means that the price of the gift is not the most important factor. As long as the gifts are given, the gifts can make the recipients feel positive physical experience, the connection between the two people can be more closely linked.
為什麼經驗式的禮物會造成這樣的結果呢？Researchers believe it is emotional relationship. Experimental gifts can cause strong emotional reactions, such as when the recipient is invited to explore the fear caused by wildlife, the excitement caused by listening to a slam music, or the tranquility felt when the water is finished. These are more like material gifts, which can bring them unforgettable physical experience and strong emotions.
But this gift that does not mean materiality cannot be given experience.舉例來說，你送給朋友一張一同參與過的演唱會 CD，這樣的效果等同於邀請朋友一起去聽演唱。 In addition, some material gifts themselves have a simple and waking up feeling, such as a joke calendar, a beautiful photo of a reminiscent, or a ring with lovely messages. These material gifts can bring the relationship between the two sides closer like experiential gifts.
心理學給你的建議想要送禮送到對方的心坎裡，不見得要挑選昂貴的禮物。因為重點不在於禮物價格，而是你的心意。 Gifts that allow both parties to experience together, such as movie tickets, concert tickets, or gifts that can evoke reminiscence; — For example, if you have gone to Japan to play together, if you buy a small item related to Japan and give it to the other party, you can still share the reminiscence with the other party and increase the sense of secrecy. These are all good choices.
Even if you are giving a single pure material gift, you can share a short story about this gift with the other party. These small movements can make the recipient feel your intention and convey your thoughts to the other party's heart..
This article is excerpted from "Wow! Psychology: 48 super practical suggestions, let you bid farewell to Kaka's life from here"
[Book introduction]
Book name: "Wow! Psychology: 48 super practical suggestions, let you tell Kaka life from here》
Author: Cai Yuzhe
Publisher: Grid Outer Culture
Publication Date: 2018/03/01
[Author Introduction]
Cai Yuzhe, Ph.D. in Psychology, is currently an assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Kaohsiung Medical University and vice chairman of the Taiwan Applied Psychology Association. He is also the founder and editor of "Wao Competition Psychology".
Pan-Science, Yuanqi.com, Falling/Lost Garden, Chinese Daily Science Edition, Lions and Young People, and other specialized authors, "Magic Psychology".