Do you often say something about swearing about you? As long as you are not satisfied and you want to communicate, he will think you are looking for trouble, saying "You are bored", "You are very furious"?
But the person who truly loves you will value your feelings and try to communicate with you well.
Generally, domestic violence occurs, and easy external injuries occur. Applying for domestic violence in accordance with the Domestic Violence Prevention and Control Law is the way for many people to protect themselves. But what about words and violence? It is not visible like physical violence, and it will not cause physical injuries. Only you know that it is really uncomfortable, but it is difficult to say, sometimes it is difficult for you to understand the truth.
Acknowledging that he has changed and he doesn't love you anymore requires courage, but please don't beg for it. Your retreat will only make him dig deep into the soil.
There are 5 characteristics of verbal violence1. He thinks your reaction is just a trivial matter. When you are hard for it, he will not seek reconciliation, and even seems to be completely unwilling to do so. When you want to communicate, but he will say there is nothing to talk about, he doesn't think there is a problem, nor does he feel wrong in any way.
He will make you feel that your love is that you are "too fragile", that you are "too fragile", and even say "you are idiot", and it will not be his problem no matter what. The more he said this, the more likely you think it is true, and you began to doubt: "It seems that it is really my problem!"
2. He wants to control your words and violence are closely related to control, and it is a means of using power to suppress others. The cold war is also a kind of violence. The cold war mentioned here is not that both of them calm down or talk again after a while, but that the other party does not discuss this matter with you at all. He ignores your desire to change and communicate.
3. He would not be like this in front of others. The ruthlessness he said makes you feel hurt, but he dare not show himself in front of outsiders at all. These words of hurting people happen when you two are alone. His indifferent face will only appear when you are with you. Because of this, his family and friends don’t know his true face, and your family doesn’t know, and they may still think he is a good man.
Your unhappiness is reduced to a very small amount, and is tired again and again. No one understands why you are becoming more and more haggard.
4. Victims who do not know what health relationships are often lacking experience in non-abuse relationships and cannot compare with existing relationships. Your family may also be full of violence in words, so you never know what a healthy relationship and a good communication pattern are.
From this point, people can understand why children who live in violence can easily enter a violent relationship when they grow up. Because he never knew what respected and loved, and how happy a relationship between husband and wife was.
5. When he pauses, you will comfort yourself that he is not really bad, and the perpetrator will pause his violent behavior, so the victim will forget the time he has been unable to do so.
If you keep thinking about his cool or indifferent behavior towards you, it will definitely make you suffer. You will occasionally blame yourself because you are unwilling to let go of yourself. You can never determine whether this relationship can continue to maintain. It seems that as long as you don’t think too much, you will still be in a love relationship.
But in fact, it is not. A person who disrespects you will not love you at all. A person with abusive personality is a person who desires to dominate others. Such a person will not understand you with empathy. The ability to develop empathy is precisely the element of love and close relationship.
When you feel hurt, you must admit that you want to violently dispel yourself when you are injured. It depends on the degree of seriousness and requires the help of an expert or psychologist. But first and most importantly, you must "expose yourself". The so-called exposure of yourself is to admit that his behavior makes you uncomfortable and hurts you. This is definitely not what he says, "Your hairy", "Your belly fat", and "Your bad temper". Your honesty shows your will, which means you take the first step that is not under his control.You can tell him calmly but surely: "I don't care what you think, what you say makes me uncomfortable." Hey! Please believe you deserve to be treated well! It is time to tell yourself this way and show such determination and confidence.
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